Another Beginning.

I've been wondering whether to join 'Blogger' for a while. You see I have a blog on wordpress with the same title, however much as I love the community there, it certainly isn't as active as this one. So here I am, starting a new but familiar blog. It will be for my thoughts, musings, emotions and anything I wish to express.

Bingeing/purging/starving has always given me a sense of empowerment. It gives me control and concentration. I have gained weight recently and determined to get back on track and reach my ultimate goals. I am determined to be the skinny one, I want to be beautiful, maybe I'll never have the face of Audrey Hepburn but I can certainly achieve her figure to a certain extent. I do think that it is our choice about what we do with our bodies.

Whether we want to nourish or destroy? But which is which?

“Never, never underestimate the power of desire. If you want to live badly enough, you can live. The great question, at least for me, was: How do I decide I want to live?”— Marya Hornbacher

The Concept of the Suffering Artist.

The concept of the suffering artist. The poetic, intelligent yet tragic persona. A Pre-Raphaelite. That is what we want to be. The starving, suffering artist. We would die for our art, our genius.

It excuses our madness and our irrationalities as long as we have that essence, that grandiose quality that makes it all worthwhile. Almost miniscule in comparison to the greater art.

These romantic ideals of a genius living a life of imagination and dreams. To surpass all trivial, material needs. This is mine. My un-realistic image of perfection. Very far from perfection in fact but this is what I envisage it to be.